Friday, October 21, 2016

Truth Be Told Friday

It's 7:58 as I sit here, drinking my lukewarm coffee and begin to type. I have been up for an hour and a half, breastfed my sweet baby, taken out the garbage, changed my three year old's poopy diaper (she's not potty trained yet, please don't judge me) and gotten my two older girls up, ready, and onto the school bus. I think I forgot to have them brush their teeth. This my dear friends, is real life.

Tristan has been off work this week, and so we have been on a 'stay-cation.' I haven't done as many dishes, nor cooked as many meals, I haven't put away the laundry that's been washed, I haven't even folded it. My house is a mess.

But do you know what I did do? I drew. I read. I watched football with my hubby (or at least read on the couch next to him while he watched football). I took my oldest daughter on a drawing and hot chocolate date. I took my three big girls on a play date. I exercised in the middle of the day. Tristan and I took our dog to the dog park. One morning, Tristan slept in till 11. One morning I slept in till 11! Our whole little family went to the pumpkin patch. We had a lot of great self-care time and great family time over the last week! And now, I think it's nearly time to bounce back.

Truth be told, my house looks like this.
My kitchen counters are covered.
My living room has laundry everywhere.
My coat closet has exponentially more on the floor than it does on hangers or in cubbies.
And it was all totally worth it.

I think the hardest part about self-care and choosing family time over cleaning is the mess that's there waiting for you when you're done. It's hard for me to not feel regret. Or shame. I come to the end of this really great week and really look at the state of my house and I feel ashamed at the mess and regretful that I didn't take care of it sooner. In those moments I need to take a deep breath and have grace for myself. My worth is not found in how tidy or 'pinterest perfect' my home is. My value cannot be undone by a messy house and my value does not increase if my house is perfect. I have worth because of who loves me. Because I was chosen and loved and sacrificed for by a really big, awesome, personal, loving God.

So today I will move forward in that grace. Maybe I will put my homes to rights today. organizing the coat closet, cleaning the kitchen, and putting away the laundry. Or maybe I'll just close the closet door, put the laundry baskets in the baby's room, and have one more day of vacation. One more day of drawing, playing doctor and patient with my three year old, watching my baby crawl, and cuddling with Tristan on the couch. 💕

Happy Friday everyone!

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